Stance: Studies on the Family

Brigham Young University Student Journal

Tag: fiance

Wedding Wednesday: Meeting The In-Laws

In exactly a month and sixteen days my fiancée and I will be walking through the doors of the Salt Lake Temple together. I am so excited and can’t believe how fast time is flying by, although it still isn’t coming soon enough! Nothing major has happened recently, I am still working on the little things for the wedding.

My fiancée’s parents came up from Arizona to meet my parents on the 25th of October, which was very exciting. Both my fiancée and I had already met the other’s parents, they just hadn’t met each other yet. Overall I would say it was a very successful visit. Meeting the in-laws is a big part of the wedding process that sometimes gets overlooked. It can be a little nerve-racking, but if you try to keep in mind these three tips, your initial first meeting should go a whole lot smoother.wedding family

#1 Be Yourself

I might sound like a broken record, but being yourself is incredibly important. You will most likely be interacting with your in-laws for the rest of your married life so it’s essential that they get to know YOU. Don’t try and change yourself in order to meet what you think their expectations are. It’s easy to tell when someone is trying to be fake, so don’t fake it. If you act like yourself then the people around you will act normal too, dissolving tension from a potentially stressful situation. Don’t be nervous, you know you better than anyone.

#2 Get to Know Them

Not only should they be getting to know you, but you should also get to know them. Don’t spend the whole time talking about your life—ask about theirs. Take real interest in their lives and passions; don’t feign interest. The more genuine you can be in this first meeting the better. Don’t just take interest in your mother or father-in-law; take interest in your fiancée’s siblings as well. Think of your in-laws as an addition to your family. Be kind and considerate, and treat them as you would treat your own family.

#3 Proper Setting The first time I met my fiancée’s parents was at his family’s condo in Cedar City. There were a lot of people there and we went snowboarding and played pool all day. He met my family at a birthday party for my cousin, where there were also a lot of people there talking and having fun. It is important that when you meet your in-laws for the first time that it is in the right setting, preferably, where not all the attention is on you. There are better times for you to interact one-on-one with your in-laws but for the first meeting that might be awkward. It’s best if it’s at a casual setting, with lots of people around and something going on. This way not all the pressure is on you and hopefully some of the awkwardness of that initial meeting will be diminished.

It’s always important to leave a good first impression. While that is true, don’t stress about meeting your in-laws, most likely they will love you just as much their son or daughter loves you.

By Bryn Adams

Wedding Wednesday: Meet Bryn

My name is Bryn Adams. I am currently a junior at BYU, and…I just got ENGAGED!

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While being engaged has probably been one of the most exciting times in my life, it has also been the most stressful. Being a full-time student and planning a wedding is no easy task; it’s hard to find a balance between the two. While I wouldn’t say I’m an expert by any means, I have learned a few things in the past couple of weeks that I would like to share with any of you who are engaged at this moment or who hope to be in the near or distant future.

 

Tip #1: Start planning as soon as possible

Being engaged is an exciting, blissful moment and you should definitely revel in it. However, it’s important to start getting serious about planning the wedding as soon as possible. My fiancé and I immediately started calling businesses for consultations the day after he popped the question. It has only been two weeks and we already have the temple date set, the reception venue, the cake and food at the reception, decorations, and the honeymoon planned. Just this past week we took some engagement photos, and I’ve already gone dress shopping (with no luck yet). Thankfully, school has been put on the back burner only slightly. Planning a wedding isn’t something you want to procrastinate because it is stressful. The more you have out of the way beforehand, the less stressed you’ll be.

 

Tip #2: Use your family and friends’ talents

Everyone has that really artsy person or crazy micromanager in their family or circle of friends. I’m telling you that you will be grateful for your family and friends’ talents when it’s time to plan a wedding. They will be your lifesavers, stress savers, and money savers. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends or family to help you, in fact, many of them may even offer their talents to you. My cousin has always had a knack for art and wants to go into photography. She’s a pretty good photographer already and has an awesome camera to boot. I asked her if she would be willing to take my engagement and bridal photos, she was happy to help. Instead of paying a professional hundreds—maybe even thousands—of dollars to take our photos, we’re having my cousin do it for cheaper. When planning a wedding, your family and friends become your greatest assets. Oftentimes they’ll be more than happy to help.

 

Tip #3: Talk to your fiancé:

When it comes to weddings, it is usually the bride who has been dreaming and planning this day in her head since she was young. While planning your wedding, don’t leave your fiancé out of it, assuming that because he’s a guy, he wouldn’t be interested. Your soon-to-be-husband may have some good ideas that you never even thought of. Although he may not want to be involved with the whole thing, don’t leave him out. Ask him how involved he wants to be with the planning. Not only can your fiancé give ideas and advice, he can also be the one that keeps you sane. Tell him what your ideas are, what you’re stressed about, and what you want help with. Who knows, may he’ll surprise you with an awesome idea or give you comfort when you need it.

 

Though I feel like I’ve gotten a lot done in two weeks, there is still so much to do. I’m learning as I go, and I’m  grateful for all the help that I’ve been given by my friends and family, which I‘m sure I’ll need even more as the date draws closer. These tips have already helped me and I hope they’ll be helpful to others as well.