Stance: Studies on the Family

Brigham Young University Student Journal

Tag: freedom

Moving Back Home: 4 Things I Learned as a College Student Living with My Family

mailboxThe last two years of my college life I have spent living at home with my parents and three younger siblings. I moved home after I spent some time—and most of my money—on a study abroad in the British Isles. The thought of moving back home after being on my own was frustrating, but the last two years have been much different than I expected. Here are four things I learned about what college kids and their families can do to make living together a good experience.

  1. Space is blessed. I am gone at school and work nearly all day, and when I am home, I’m usually doing homework. I need a sanctuary where I know I can take time for myself to get things done or just veg out. Families, remember that your stay-at-home college students are still adults with their own busy schedules. Help them by giving them physical and mental space to breathe.
  2. Family is an investment. Speaking of a busy schedule, there just never seems to be enough time for everything! However, even though I have my own agenda, I have found it’s important to make time for the people who not only house and feed me, but the people who also love me. I’ve grown closer to my parents and siblings in ways that I never could have had if I didn’t live at home. If you give them time, they will give you time. It’s a win-win.
  3. Save that dough! If you’re like me, chances are your family isn’t making you pay for everything—utilities, garbage, insurance, mortgage, etc. And with all that extra money, it’s way easier to feel like I have more to spend. But don’t get caught in a trap. Some months I have actually saved less money living at home than I did living on my own. I’ve found that maintaining some form of responsible adult spending habits (like keeping a budget and pitching in on groceries or rent) keeps me from overspending.
  4. Remember to stay socially healthy. Between school and work, I don’t always have the energy (or the desire) to go out at the end of the day. But even though spending time with family is important, participating in activities with my friends and peers is also important. It actually gives me more energy, reinforces my networking, and helps me find new cultural experiences.

—Sarah Perkins, Senior Managing Editor, Stance

Ryan in Provo: Don’t resent success, emulate it

by Dustin Schwanger

Vice presidential candidate, Paul Ryan, spoke to over 700 people on Wednesday evening in Provo’s Utah Valley Convention Center after a day of fundraising in the area.

Introduced by Josh Romney, one of Mitt Romney’s five sons, and in the company of Utah senator Orrin Hatch, Ryan continued with the campaign’s emphasis on capitalism and American ingenuity saying, “In America, we don’t want to resent success; we want to emulate it.”

Following the theme of freedom, Ryan said, “America is special because it is the only country in history founded upon an idea, that freedom comes from nature and God—not government,” which statement roused the mostly student audience.

Ryan finished his fifteen-minute speech again attacking government intrusion into Americans’ lives, saying, “The family is the nucleus of society—not government.”

This reception wrapped up a day of fundraising in the Provo area. Earlier in the day the campaign hosted a dinner with Ryan for $25,000 a plate, and later, for $3,000, supporters could meet Ryan and have their picture taken with him. The final fundraising event was this reception costing $1,000 a person, but only $20 for students.

Happy Independence Day

We would like to wish everyone a happy Independence Day! As well as our parties, fireworks, and family time, let us take time to remember and pray for those who continue to fight for and protect the freedoms that we celebrate today.

Dear Mr. President: A Response to Same-Sex Marriage

from AmberLee Hansen 

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing this letter in response to your announcement of late stating your stand in support of same-sex marriage. I appreciate your attempt to be inclusive of all people, to help all people feel accepted. The Declaration of Independence speaks truth: all men are created equal. They have certain unalienable rights. But marriage between two people of the same gender is not one of them. That is not marriage, and it is not a right.

Marriage, as a religious institution, is between a man and a woman and should not be redefined by the state. I know there are some loud voices who, in the name of equality, would tell you otherwise. They would tell you marriage is a union of two people who are in love and is detached from religious practices—they are wrong. And they hold the minority opinion. Mr. President, the silent masses of our country stand for marriage, marriage between a man and a woman. After your recent announcement, I decided it is time for this silent voice to speak.

Marriage is a divinely established institution to ensure strong, healthy families. God united men and women so they could have children and raise families. Raising a family is a couple’s crowning joy. Mr. President, two men or two women were not made to have children. And yet you would redefine marriage to call both unions equal; you would call both types of union marriage. I’m sorry, Mr. President, but no matter how many supporters this viewpoint gets, marriage is between men and women—anything else is not marriage.

Mr. President, I stand for strong families. I stand for marriage as marriage has always been defined. People are free to make their own choices, Mr. President, and I am happy to let them. But their choices shouldn’t change how we as a country define marriage and how we as a country define family. Listen to the silent voices of America, Mr. President. Just because they aren’t speaking doesn’t mean they aren’t strong.

What about Abstinence? It is Free and Freeing

by Christy Hinkson

Christy is an author and a mother of ten. She recently released her new book Home Remedies for a Nation at Risk: What American Leaders could learn from American Families. Also, click here to view Christy’s blog Stand for the Truth.

With the contraception debate brewing and boiling over, I have to ask: What about Abstinence? Why does anyone have to pay for birth control at all? Why do people laugh and think it is impossible to keep sexual relations within the bonds of marriage. What about all the people in the world who manage to control themselves and refrain from sex until they are married. There are millions of people all over the world who do this and have lived to tell about it. I also believe that those who abstain before marriage are in a better position to speak about “women’s health” than those who are having sex with multiple partners and using birth control, which has historically caused several women’s health issues.

I practiced abstinence and so did my husband. Our children and their spouses have also abstained until they married. I attended a prestigious private University where people were expected to live by an honor code and if they had sex outside of marriage while they were students they faced being dismissed as students from the university. What a great opportunity to go to school where the focus was actually on academics.

Choosing to be “morally clean” was one of the best decisions that I have ever made. Here are some of the stresses in life that I now do not have to worry about now because I was not prematurely sexually active:

1. I don’t have to worry that I will get a sexually transmitted disease.

2. I don’t have to worry that I will be as tempted to succumb to breaking this law as an adult. If I can survive the raging hormone time of youth, I am well on my way to living a pure life.

3. I don’t have to worry that I will have an unwanted pregnancy outside the bonds of marriage.

4. I don’t have to worry that anyone will ask me to consider having an abortion or giving a child up for adoption.

5. I don’t have to worry that there will be a child somewhere that I gave birth to and have not been able to raise.

6. I don’t have to worry that I have near as high of a chance of developing cervical cancer that is significantly linked to having multiple sex partners.

7. I don’t have to worry that my husband married me because he “had to.”

8. I don’t have to worry that I will run into old partners and be embarrassed.

9. I don’t have to worry that I will ever think about other partners that I was immoral with.

10. I don’t have to worry that God will be disappointed with my choices.

Practicing abstinence is not only free, but it is freeing. It may cause some people a little stress to practice abstinence but look at all the stress you are able to live without later.