A Brigham Young University Student Journal
My husband and I have six children. Six!!! Who can believe it? This fact puts Dave (my husband) and I into the “experienced parents” category–especially since the youngest is now 23 years old. Parenting is not easy. Should I say that again?? Parenting is not easy. …
According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, 26.6% of children and adolescents were diagnosed with a chronic condition in the United States. This means that one in five children today have a chronic illness, with chronic conditions s spreading, it’s more important than ever …
Most married couples typically fight about three things: kids, sex, and money. These areas carry a lot of weight, and can cause a lot of stress if things aren’t the way you’d like them to be. Since I’m only writing a blog post, and not a novel, I’m only going to focus on two of these issues today.
Difficulties with money can be daunting and frustrating, but breaking things down and taking them a day at a time can really help with conquering the troubles that you are having. In fact, studies have shown that being financially stable is not so much about how much money you make, but about how you learn to manage it.
Here are a few helpful tips to help you and your spouse get your financial feet planted firmly in the ground:
1. Listen to the counsel of the Lord.
Since the time of Abraham (and most likely before even that), the Lord has been giving us counsel about how to wisely manage our money. This starts with paying a full tithe. It is important to remember that all we gain in this life actually belongs to the Lord. Paying tithing helps us show gratitude for this, along with expressing trust in our Heavenly Father that He will keep His promises.
He has told us that he will “open the windows of Heaven, and pour [us] out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10). I don’t know how he makes it work, but as I have seen this principle work time and time again in my own life, I know that when we work to pay a full tithe the Lord will ALWAYS take care of us. The Lord has continued to give us counsel from the current prophets and apostles more specific for our day.
2. Stay out of debt.
This can be difficult in our world of credit cards, same-day loans, and easy- access online shopping. However, avoiding consumer debt allows us to practice and exhibit self- control, and increases our capacity to take care of our families, serve others, and exercise our agency to keep the commandments.
The Brethren have expressed that there are three things for which it is acceptable to go into debt, and these are a modest home, a modest car, and education. However, even in these circumstances, we should still do our best to practice wise money management, and avoid excess.
Written By: Rian Gordon
We have all heard our parents say the line “You [and your siblings] are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” While this statement is true, parenting is more than just sunshine and happiness. There are many sacrifices that often accompany becoming a new …
I’ve always thought that the concept of teaching your baby sign language before he or she could talk was incredibly fascinating. I mean, to be able to communicate with your child before he or she develops oral language sounds surreal! However, before I started writing …
Last fast Sunday, as I was listening to the testimonies borne over the pulpit, I noticed a pattern. Over and over people were testifying about how the gospel brings us real and lasting (even eternal) happiness. I felt something within me agree with the sentiment, but at the same time, a question of “why” came to my mind. Why is it that the gospel of Jesus Christ allows us to feel joy and happiness both here on earth, and in the eternities? Over the next month, a few different situations lead to something really clicking for me; something that helped me answer this question of “why” and “how” the principles that we are taught in church (and hopefully in our homes and here at BYU as well) are essential in our own personal pursuit of happiness.
In 2 Nephi 2:27, we read, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” This scripture says a great deal about our purpose. We were created, and sent here to earth because our Creator wants us to have eternal joy. How amazing is that? In this life, and in the life to come, we are meant to have happiness, and Heavenly Father’s mission involves helping us to achieve that happiness. However, that doesn’t mean that life is all fun and games!
Why is this? Throughout my life, I have learned that it’s because true happiness doesn’t come from simple ease. Having everything go right for us all the time, or not having anything bad happen in our lives does NOT automatically result in happiness. Many people in today’s world will argue that it does – hedonism (the theory that pleasure—and therefore lack of pain—is the highest good and proper aim of human life) is an ideology that plagues our society and is prevalent particularly in the media that we consume every day. Knowing that we are meant to be happy, and also better understanding the idea that Heavenly Father allows things to happen in order to increase our eternal happiness can give us hope. We must trust that everything we go through is part of God’s plan, and takes place so that we “might have joy.”
If we are meant to be happy, how does our Heavenly Father help us get there? This summer, I read a self-help book entitled The Happiness Project (Rubin, 2009). In this book, the author invited the reader (me) to write down a list of the things that they enjoy doing. As I went over my list, I started noticing a pattern. A majority of the items I had written down involved personal improvement or developing my talents: performing in a play or musical, drawing portraits, reading books, trying new recipes, any type of learning, singing or playing the piano, yoga, swimming, scripture study. As I pondered about why this was, the thought came to me that one of the reasons we are here on earth is to BECOME.
We are here to reach our full potential. To become like our Heavenly Father and Mother, and to one day to live as they do: as perfect beings who can continue progressing, learning, growing, and creating eternally. Our spirits, who have existed for longer than we can comprehend, know this! Deep down, we know and understand that we are meant to become, and our spirits rejoice as we come closer to reaching this potential. This is why trials and difficulties can add to our happiness. As we overcome adversity, we grow and come further along in our progression towards perfection. Similarly, most of the growing that we do in this life involves getting outside of our comfort zone and trying new things. Developing our talents takes courage, practice, and at times, failure. Remembering that we are meant to become can give us the strength to get back up and try again.
A pattern also emerged in the remaining items on my personal happiness list. I realized that anything that didn’t have to do with my own personal becoming, had to do either with helping someone else become, or connection and nurturing a relationship. Serving others, teaching, snuggling with my husband, spending time with my family; all of these things have to do with BELONGING. We know that from the time before we came to this earth, we existed as a family—God’s family.
We did not exist or function in isolation, and we are not meant to do so now. This is why Heavenly Father has organized us into family units here on earth, and why His plan involves being with our families for eternity! This is also why He has provided us with prayer, and his Holy Ghost: two ways that we can personally connect and improve our relationship with Him. “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) We are meant to connect and foster lasting relationships here on earth, and forever into the future. Because of this, it also brings us joy to help others come closer their potential, and make choices that will also allow them to be with us forever. Understanding this can help us to reach out to others, and to strive to make real human connections with the people around us. We are more likely to forgive and to give others the benefit of the doubt. We can begin to see others as our Father does, and help encourage them (as well as learn from them) in their own journey to become and to belong.
Whenever I think about happiness, I cannot help but think about the scripture Alma 41:10 “Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.” When we think about this scripture in the context of becoming and belonging, it makes perfect sense. Sinning, or doing anything that separates us from God, has serious consequences that involve stopping our progress (literally damning us) and keeping us from our eternal relationships. It cuts us off from our potential, and from living forever with those that we love. Although it may feel good at the moment, wickedness can never truly bring us real and eternal joy. Heavenly Father has given us commandments and guidelines that will help keep us all on the right track in our journey to become and belong. They help accomplish His mission of bringing us eternal happiness and joy.
Ever since I had these realizations relating to my personal pursuit of happiness, I have been able to find the principles of becoming and belonging in every one of my endeavors. Understanding that the things that will help me find true joy and happiness are those things that help bring me closer to my potential as a child of God, along with bringing me closer to those around me, has brought focus, purpose, and peace to my life. I know that as we all strive to become more and more like our Heavenly Parents, and work on developing connections with those that we are blessed to come in contact with, we will have more success in making the world a better and happier place, and we will all be one step closer to carrying the joy that we feel now through to the eternities.
Written by: Rian Gordon