Stance: Studies on the Family

Brigham Young University Student Journal

Category: Uncategorized (page 14 of 15)

Happy Father’s Day!

from Dustin Schwanger

I would like to wish all fathers a happy Father’s Day, especially my own dad. He was my first role model, the one that I always wanted be like. Especially when I was a kid, I wanted to do what he did and wear what he wore—or apparently didn’t wear, according to this picture. Most importantly, he loved me and taught me how to be a good Christian. I just want to thank him and my mom, who has been just as influential in shaping who I am, for all the years they have loved and cared for me. If all parents were just like them, the world would be a much better place.

Memorial Day

We would like to thank all the service men and women and their families for the immense sacrifices they perform everyday to protect our nation.

He Is Risen!

“He is risen! He is risen! Tell it out with joyful voice. He has burst his three days’ prison; let the whole wide earth rejoice. Death is conquered; man is free. Christ has won the victory.” Christ has won the victory for us over death. He has also won the victory over sin, pain, and suffering. No matter the issues we face, personally or with our families, they can all be swallowed up in the love of Jesus. We discuss many of the issues facing families today and how we can overcome those issues; however, no matter how ready we are to face those challenges through secular means, Jesus is the only means by which our families can be truly united and at peace.

Have a happy Easter.

How to Get Your Kids to Listen without Reminding or Yelling

by Caitlin Schwanger

Amy McCready—Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions

I recently attended Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutıons webinar “How to Get Your Kids to Listen without Reminding or Yelling.” During the meeting, McCready, parenting specialist and creator of Positive Parentıng Solutions, explained a few basic principles to guide parents in their discipline strategies. Everything got better, she explained, when she began using positive parenting solutions: her children’s behavior got better, and her attitude improved. McCready stated that her vision for parents is that they won’t be able to remember the last time they had to raise their voice to get their children to obey.

How is this possible? How can you get your children to listen the first time? How can you stop misbehavior in your home? In the webinar, McCready explained a few basic principles that will help you on your way to parenting peace.

First, we have to understand why children misbehave in the first place. Bad behavior is a symptom of a deeper problem. We have to understand the problem before we can correct the bad behavior. Children (and adults) have two basic needs: they need to feel like they belong and they need to feel significant.

Children need to feel like they belong, that they are important to you. Children need to feel emotionally connected to their parents, to their siblings, even to their teachers. Children need a lot of positive attention from you. If they aren’t getting enough of that attention, they may resort to negative behaviors to get your attention, even if it’s negative. If something they do gets you to give them the attention they need, they’ll keep repeating that behavior. So one solution to bad behavior is to make sure that your child’s “positive attention basket” is full.

Children need to feel significant, that they are capable, that they make a difference, that they contribute. Often, this translates to children having a need to feel power, that they are in control. So, find ways to help your children feel like they are contributing. Have them help around the house–let chores be a positive thing. Also, give your children age-appropriate positive power. When it is appropriate, let them feel like they have a choice, like they are in control.

In her book, If I Have to Tell You One More Time, McCready provides parents with a “toolbox” of strategies for disciplining children. One of the tools she explained during the webinar was the 5 Rs of Consequences.

 

The 5 Rs of Consequences
1. Respectful—you need to be respectful to your child and to yourself. If you can’t deal with the situation right away, wait until you can be calm, collected, and respectful.

2. Related to the misbehavior—Make sure the consequence is related to the behavior so the learning event can take place. For example, if your daughter back talks, you shouldn’t discipline her by grounding her from her sleepover.

3. Reasonable in duration—The discipline should be reasonable for the age of the child. McCready recommended taking a puzzle away from a three-year-old for a day and video game privileges away for a week for a teenager.

4. Revealed in advance—You must reveal the rule and the consequence in advance. This gives your child the opportunity to make the choice. This gives them power and control over the situation.

5. Repeat—Have the child repeat the rule back to you. You now know that your child understands the rule and the consequence, and you now have a verbal agreement.

 

Positive Parenting Solutions has over twenty-five other tools for parents to use with their children. Parents have access to these tools through Positive Parenting Solution’s parenting courses and through Amy McCready’s book. For more information, see Positive Parenting Solutions, or the book, If I Have to Tell You One More Time.

 

General Conference Cinnamon Rolls—Recipe

by Adrienne Anderson

Since before I can remember, my mother has made cinnamon rolls for Christmas, Easter, and LDS General Conference. She gets up around five or six in the morning to make sure everything is ready by the time we wander into the kitchen. My father always takes a cinnamon roll from the center of the pan when my mother isn’t looking—which slightly annoys everyone else. While I do not wake up nearly as early as my mother, my husband does take a cinnamon roll from the center of the pan when I am not looking. I guess every girl really does grow up to marry a man like her father.

This recipe has become a calorie- and memory-laden tradition in my family; I hope you enjoy it, too!

 

Dough – steps 1–9 & 11–16

2 pkgs yeast

2 tbsp sugar

½ cups (very) warm water

2 cups milk

2 eggs

½ cup melted butter

1 tsp salt

1 box instant vanilla pudding mix (~3.5oz)

6 cups (or a little more) flour

 

Filling – steps 10 & 12

3 cups brown sugar

6 tsp ground cinnamon

1½ cups softened butter

 

Frosting – steps 17 & 18

8 oz cream cheese

½ cup butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 cups powdered sugar

(1 tbsp milk)

 

Also Needed: stand mixer (wire whisk, dough hook and flat beater attachments preferable), spatula, large bowl, dish towel, medium bowl, rolling pin, sewing thread, and baking pans (comparable to at least two 9” x 13” pans—I use a 9” x 13” and loaf pan)

Time Needed: about three hours (including prep and baking)

Space Needed: 34” x 18” area of counter space

Servings: 15–20 rolls

 

Directions:

1. Using a fork, quickly but thoroughly mix 2 packages of yeast, 2 tablespoons of sugar and ½ cup

of warm water in a container that can hold at least two cups of liquid. Set aside.

2. Combine 2 cups of milk, 2 eggs, and ½ cup of melted butter in the stand mixer on medium speed

using the wire whisk attachment until well blended.

3. Add 1 teaspoon of salt and 1 small box of instant vanilla pudding mix, and mix thoroughly,

scraping the sides of the bowl with the spatula as needed.

4. Pour in the water, yeast and sugar mixture. (Note that about a cup’s worth of bubbles should have

formed by this point.) Mix on medium speed until smooth.

5. Switch from the wire whisk attachment to the dough hook attachment on the mixer.

6. Using a pouring shield if possible, add 6 cups of flour—half a cup at a time, using the lowest speed

on the mixer while pouring the flour, then a medium speed while blending the flour. Use the spatula to

scrape the attachment and the sides of the bowl as needed.

[Note: If the dough is sticky, add flour half a cup at a time until there is very little or no dough sticking to your hands after handling—due to the elevation in Provo, Utah I usually need to add an additional cup or so of flour.]

7. Lightly butter the large bowl. Then round the dough and place it in the bowl.

8. Cover the bowl with the clean dishtowel. Set it in a warm place, if possible (e.g. in sunlight from a

window—don’t pre-heat the oven just yet!). Let the dough rise until doubled in size, then punch down and let double again.

9. While the dough is rising, thoroughly clean a 34” x 18” area of counter space. Then sprinkle the area

with flour—three quarters of a cup should be sufficient.

10. In the medium bowl, mix together 3 cups of brown sugar and 6 teaspoons of ground cinnamon.

11. After the dough has doubled in size the second time, take it out of the bowl, place it on the floured area and roll it out into a roughly 34” x 18” rectangle.

12. Spread 1 ½ cup of softened butter evenly over the surface of the dough, then evenly sprinkle and

spread the brown sugar and cinnamon mixture over the surface of the dough.

13. Tightly roll up the dough lengthwise. Cut into 1 ½”-2” sections using sewing thread as illustrated

below.

[Note: If you do not have sewing thread, dental floss can be substituted, though mint flavoring could transfer. Cutting the sections with a knife is also an option, but is not preferable because it will squish the sections. The first and last sections can either be eaten raw or thrown away; they’re usually too small to bake properly.]

[Note: It is important that steps 13–15 be followed only once for each batch of dough—all sections must be placed in the pan at the same time, must rise at the same time, and must bake at the same time. But they may need to bake for different amounts of time.]

14. Dust off the excess flour, then place the cut sections into the 9” x 13” pan.

14a. For connected, softer cinnamon rolls (as pictured by ingredients), put about twelve sections in the pan.

14b. For separate, all-around browned cinnamon rolls, put about nine sections in the pan.

14c. Depending on the number of sections left over, either use a loaf pan or another 9” x 13” pan for the remaining sections.

15. Place the pans on top of or near the oven, cover with the dishtowel, and let the rolls rise while the oven preheats to 350 degrees.

16. When the dough has approximately doubled and the oven is preheated, bake for 15–20 minutes, or until the rolls are a light golden brown.

17. While the rolls are baking, use the flat beater attachment to mix 8 oz of cream cheese, ½ cup of butter and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract in the mixer until smooth.

18. Using a pouring shield if possible, add 3 cups of powdered sugar—half a cup at a time, using the lowest speed on the mixer to blend in the powdered sugar (1 tablespoon of milk can also be added).

19. When the rolls are a light golden brown, remove the pan(s) from the oven, and set them aside to cool (because the rolls will continue to slightly “bake” and darken after removal from the oven).

20. Remove a roll (or two!) from the pan, top with a dollop of icing and enjoy with a glass of milk!

Mother Gardener

by Erin Jones – Dedicated to Alberta Jones

She scatters light to all within her touch
She smiles, and they smile at her gaze
Her garden’s heart to reach and trails to blaze
A mother twenty-four years, but n’er too much
A gardener first, but no one has seen such
A beauty when she laughs in all her ways
She opens to the lost; with life she’ll raise
Five flowers up, and to her legs they clutch
Until they blossom, raise their petals, breathe
And reach the sunlight, shake their leaves and sigh
She gives them soil, water, sunlight, rain
And watches each one grow and shed their leaves
She helps them cut their roots to see them fly
And spreads her smile, warmer than her pain

Come Listen to the Story: The Idea Started as a Simple Melody

by Joshua Cox

Music has been part of my life as long as I can remember. Growing up in the Cox family felt like a constant musical stage. No matter the time of day, there was almost always somebody singing or practicing an instrument in the home. As a family, we performed songs and dances. It wasn’t the easiest bringing everyone together, especially as the older siblings got into high school and all of the extracurricular activities and friends that come with it. My mother was the key element in making music happen in our family. As our family grew closer together through our experiences, music itself was an instrument we used to serve others in our community. As a result, our lives have been enriched and we have something familiar to come back to when we gather.

As for me, piano lessons were endured, but the fruits of practice were always enjoyed. Before piano lessons, I enjoyed making my own masterpieces at the keyboard – the kind only I could understand. Recently I tried to pick up where I left off several years ago composing music.

My family was on a vacation in Hawaii when I began this song. We were staying in a beach house, and I found a keyboard in the garage. In a rush of creativity, I began to pick out a melody on the keys. It wasn’t long before I had the first verse written out in my mind. Christmas was on my mind at the time, hence the Christ-centered theme of the song. I wanted to tell the story of a mother and father telling the story of Jesus’ birth to their children. This was something familiar to me. While music was an integral part of my family life, the very foundation of our family was based in our faith. Everything good in my family has stemmed from the religion we know to be true.

Last New Year’s Eve was the first trial run of this song. My family stood around the piano to sing, and even my mom sang a part. My hope is that this will be a meaningful addition to the longstanding tradition of music and faith in my family.

A great deal of gratitude is felt for the help of good friends and my sister. The music can be heard at joshsbox.blogspot.com.