Author: Stance Studies on the Family

Eliminating Problem Behaviors through Behavior Modification

Eliminating Problem Behaviors through Behavior Modification

You’ve seen it at the grocery store—kid asks for candy, mom resists, kid throws a fit, mom gives in. While this situation may be the reality for parents on some trying days, it’s helpful to understand what’s behind this childish behavior. You wouldn’t want to 

Museum of Art

Museum of Art

I think as we get older a lot of us lose the intense sense of curiosity we had as children. (It really was a sort of sense with how natural it was.) That deep fascination with the world around us just kind of gets put 

Get Creative: 36 Ideas for “Creatives” and “Non-creatives” Alike

Get Creative: 36 Ideas for “Creatives” and “Non-creatives” Alike

face-638845_1920Have you ever thought of a project, but you were too afraid to start?

I have a seven-year-old niece who has probably created more things than most people do in their lifetimes. Once, she made a fish tank out of paper and even devised a food dispenser with tape, folded paper, and paper scraps. When she lost a tooth this year, she set up a room for the tooth fairy out of a laundry basket with a toy bed and a fridge so that the fairy could take a break. This girl never stops creating.

I think a lot of us did things like that when we were little. After growing up, some people keep that creativity alive, while others classify themselves as “non-creatives” and avoid opportunities to see what they’re made of.

I don’t believe that art is the only outlet we have to be creative. I enjoy drawing, painting, and writing. I’m that kind of creative. But I haven’t always been confident that I could contribute my ideas in groups and meetings. I’m still not confident about that. But that’s another part of creativity, and I’m determined to develop it.

There’s an unlimited amount of creative outlets in this world. The challenge for us is to get over all of the fears that we make up about creativity—the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of being amateur, the fear of wasting time (that’s my big one).

Let me tell you something the bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert has written about creativity:

“So this, I believe, is the central question upon which all creative living hinges: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?”

Having the courage to be creative is an adventure. And don’t worry about wasting time. Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

“Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty.”

So here is my challenge, and I’m doing this with you. Make it your goal to do one creative thing every day. You don’t have to spend a certain amount of time on it. Just do something. I guarantee that you will be more fulfilled in your life and in your family if you start to discover the treasures that are hidden within you.

Here are thirty-six ideas to get you started:

1. Write in your journal.

2. Take a picture.

3. Edit a picture.

4. Write a social media post.

5. Bake something.

6. Cook something.

7. Set the table nicely.

8. Draw something. It can be a doodle!

9. Paint a picture.

10. Paint furniture.

11. Paint a room.

12. Rearrange the furniture in your home.

13. Sing a song.

14. Play an instrument.

15. Do a workout. Maybe create your own routine.

16. Dance.

17. Ice skate.

18. Sew something.

19. Knit.

20. Crochet.

21. Play with a child.

22. Write a story.

23. Tell a story.

24. Write a blog post.

25. Write a letter.

26. Write a poem.

27. Write a letter.

28. Practice calligraphy.

29. Do your makeup.

30. Try something new with your hair.

31. Put together a new outfit.

32. Plan a date.

33. Contribute your idea in a meeting.

34. Learn a monologue.

35. Make a fun way to study for a test.

36. Ask a question. Do whatever you can to answer it.

I could go on, but I hope that these ideas get the wheels turning. Comment any success or failure stories. I don’t care which. I want to hear about courage.

—Sophia Parry

 

Loving and Learning from Children with Special Needs

Loving and Learning from Children with Special Needs

I’m coming to the end of a one-block (seven-week) BYU class on special education for elementary school students. Not only have I learned more about various disabilities—cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, epilepsy, ADHD—I’ve also learned to see the great potential in children with special needs. Before 

Mastering Dating Anxiety

Mastering Dating Anxiety

Having been a member of the Provo, Utah population for nearly four years, I’ve had a firsthand witness of this college town’s dating environment. I’m here to tell you: it’s an anomaly wrapped in an enigma. People want to date, and yet it terrifies them 

The Fundamentals

The Fundamentals

Nikki 070When I was in third grade, I started playing Jr. Jazz. I was pretty excited—I’d get a cool jersey (that fit like a dress), a trophy for participation (gold!), and treats after every game. Those were the things that initially motivated me to play. As I continued to play, however, I realized that I actually really liked basketball.

And not just because of the Rice Krispy treats after every game. I genuinely enjoyed running and shooting and dribbling and passing and defending and blocking and rebounding. Which meant I kept playing. For seven years I played competitive — okay, and non-competitive — basketball. Throughout these years I had several different coaches, all of them superb. They each had a different coaching style, but invariably they each had us work on our shot every single day.

Those of you who play sports, perform music, or practice another such hobby won’t be surprised at this: “Of course, you would practice your shot every day,” you say. “It’s a fundamental. If you can’t shoot, you can’t win.” Right you are, my friend. Shooting is a fundamental skill in basketball. It is foundational. It is critical. It is required if you are to win.

The same might be said about families.

It has been said that families are the building block of society. I must be honest — I have no expert social scientist’s exact words to back up this assertion, but in the next series of posts we’ll look at why families might be considered foundational, critical, even required for the success of society. In this particular post we’ll look at one reason why families are so important for society:

Families teach about and help you develop attributes that build society.

I remember growing up in a home where if I said I was going to do something, I had better do it. Church activities, sports practices, piano lessons, cleaning my room – if I had committed to go or do I had better do and go. I watched my siblings experience the same thing because I had parents who expected us to fulfill our commitments. They taught by example. I learned that reliability is a precious attribute.

I have a friend who remembers that her mother never just sat around. She was always doing something productive: making meals for others, weeding, cooking, cleaning. She would spend quality time with her family, but the rest of her time was used in an active, positive ways. She inspired her daughter to do the same. Because of her mother, my friend learned the value of hard work. That is a great strength to society.

Another friend of mine spent her summer vacations with her family; they traveled the world together with only each other for company. She learned the value of building strong relationships. Helping others can only contribute to a strong society.

I am sure many of you learned and developed tons of other attributes that might contribute to society. Of course, a person can gain these attributes through other avenues, but the family is ideally positioned to facilitate this growth. The family is absolutely critical for the positive growth of society.

—Jessica Neilson, Stance

Provo Library

Provo Library

One gem that seems to often be looked over in our community is the Provo City Library. It’s an incredible sight because of its beautiful architecture and rich history, but there is more to this historical site than just looks. The library holds awesome functions 

The Power of Inquiry Learning

The Power of Inquiry Learning

When kids write biographies, as I discussed in my last post, they engage in thinking of questions, asking them, and getting feedback. What is the power of asking questions? Think about it—you just spent a second feeling curious about the answer to this question, and 

Get Insured: Build Relationships

Get Insured: Build Relationships

When I spoke in church on Sunday, and the phrase, “Marriage is the best self-help program,” spilled out of me, I realized how fixated with self-help I really am right now. Yes, as a 21-year-old, I’ve already started reading self-help books for fun. But I believe it’s true—marriage IS the best self-help program. A good marriage. And to extend the statement, I believe that building relationships in general is the best self-help program. Families, by default, are the best self-help programs.

There’s something about warm human interaction that makes us feel better, isn’t there? Look out, reader, I’ve got another Ted talk coming your way! It turns out, Harvard has directed “The Study of Adult Development” for 75 years and has found that the things that make your life not only happy, but also healthy, are warm, meaningful, reliable relationships. Robert Waldinger can tell you all about it.

In the talk, Waldinger says, “Over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned into relationships—with family, with friends, with community.”

Then he asks the question, “So what about you? . . . What might leaning into relationships look like?”

To me, building relationships is a type of life insurance: when you start to crumble, the people and communities you’ve invested in are there to build you back up.

I challenge you to make investments in your relationships over the next two weeks. It could be an investment with a family member—sending a text to your sibling or calling a grandparent. Maybe you need to write a card for a parent and tell them how much they mean to you. Perhaps you could babysit a friend’s child. What about surprising your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse with a fun night out or a cozy night in? Maybe you want to ask someone on a date, or talk to the stranger on the elevator, or stay up late with a roommate. Or have a conversation with a child.

By investing in relationships in your life, you’re investing in your own health and happiness.

—Sophia Parry

In two weeks, I plan on writing about overcoming the fear to be creative. Please comment below and request more topics on self-improvement.

 

 

Kids Find Connections in Writing Family Biographies 

Kids Find Connections in Writing Family Biographies 

After my posts about helping kids write in journals, I’ve had another writing activity for kids on my mind—writing family biographies. Last year, I wrote a biography on my great-grandfather, Rockwell Albert Davis. I hadn’t imagined the work it would require—interviewing family members, clicking through