A Brigham Young University Student Journal
This semester, I had a fantastic and eye-opening opportunity afforded me by my Foundations of the Restoration professor. He assigned everyone a semester long term-project, and my project ended up being a significant experience for me. The guidelines for the project were loose. Early on, …
It’s that time of year again, folks! Six months of sunshine and warm days are nearing an end as we say hello to changing leaves, all things pumpkin spice, and the excitement of a new school year and new possibilities. With fall on the horizon, …
Many years ago, when my oldest son, Kevin, was a little boy, I used to tell him over and over that his daddy was a really good man.
One day we were looking at the Ensign, at the picture of the general authorities. I said, “These are pictures of really righteous men.” Kevin immediately asked, “Where’s Dad’s picture?” He had the right idea. Even though Dad is not a general authority, his picture could be with theirs in terms of being a good, righteous man.
There is no substitute for a good, righteous dad. All kids learn from their fathers, even if they are absent or part-time. The good news about this is that if you are a hands-on kind of dad, you can teach your children all they need to know, mostly by example!
When I was little I used to spend a lot of time with my dad. I would go to his store in Arnold, Nebraska, and he would give me little jobs to do. One of my earliest jobs was to fill the peanut machine. Then, I graduated to stocking the pop machine. Sometimes I would “get” to sweep the floor (using sawdust and a push broom). As I got older he let me answer the phone or run errands for him. As a sixteen-year-old, he let me drive a car (that belonged to a dealer) all the way home from Omaha (five hours away) all by myself. (Too bad he forgot to teach me to check the gas gauge and I ran out of gas 10 miles south of town!!!)
There is no substitute for a hands-on dad. I appreciate the time and effort my own husband put in to raising our children. I remember him reading stories at bedtime, playing catch, going golfing, trying to style girls’ hair, making pinewood derby cars, going camping, finding children who ran away, giving blessings . . . the list goes on and on.
There is one common trait that made both men great fathers: they were willing to spend time with their children. There’s a popular idea floating around that quality time is what counts. This is a lie. There is no such thing as quality time. There’s only quality moments that randomly occur when you spend quantity time together! You never know when those moments will happen. They show up almost by accident, when you least expect it.
Today, dads are often treated poorly in the media. They are portrayed as unnecessary at best and bumbling buffoons at worst. Nothing could be further from the truth. Dads are important in every child’s life. Their influence (for good or bad) is lasting and of great import. If you are a dad, step back and look at where you are spending your time and your talents. If you don’t feel like it’s with your family, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your priorities. If you’re not a dad, take time to think about the influence your own father had on you, and spend some time calling, visiting, and thanking him for all the sacrifices he made for you.
Why did I take this class? It was a question I hadn’t stopped asking myself for the previous 48 hours. I asked it when I lay shivering in my soaked sleeping bag, when I stood in dripping wet clothes as snow came down in large …
Intelligence has been humorously defined as an adjective used to describe people that agree with oneself. The wisdom in that joke is very applicable to this entry in our marriage series: our perception of perfection will be based on our imperfect understanding of the world …
If you’ve ever started a fire with flint and steel, then you know how frustrating it can be—or at least, it frustrated me. There I was with my small steel striker, charred cloth, and the only rock I could find in the wild that barely made a spark. I hit that rock for probably an hour, bloodying up my knuckles in the process, and getting colder by the minute.
And then it happened: I started a fire, and in the process, I learned a lesson.
In life and in marriage we can find ourselves doing all the right things, striking in very different ways at the rocks (or relationships) in our life, getting a spark but no fire. It can get frustrating, and yes at times it can be easy to give up, but if you don’t keep striking, you don’t get a fire. You don’t even get sparks.
So when marriage gets hard, what do we do to keep the sparks flying and to work at keeping that fire? Here are just a few resources married couples can use.
First and foremost, your best resource is the third member of your relationship: God. Coming together as a couple to pray and receive guidance and inspiration from the scriptures should be the first thing you do when the going gets rough. Spend time searching the scriptures and praying not just on your own, but together.
This can be a Bishop if you are LDS or a Priest or other religious leader if you are of a different faith. The important part here is that you go together. Ecclesiastical leaders can receive inspiration for you and your spouse; however, it’s important to remember that if you are dealing with a more serious and sustained problem, couple those visits to the bishop with seeing an actual professional.
Therapy and professional counseling sometimes come negative connotations. However, most professional therapists advise couples to see a counselor before any problems arise. For example, premarital workshops and therapy can help prevent future problems in a marriage.
Universities will sometimes host marital workshops, as well as professional counseling organizations. These workshops can be especially insightful about communication styles and how little adjustments can drastically improve a couple’s communication. For example, BYU Counseling and Psychological Services holds a six-week marriage prep course each semester.
A couple retreat doesn’t have to be expensive. In fact, even a simple date or series of dates can be a way for couples to reconnect and stay connected.
And by “good book” I specifically mean marital books (although I don’t oppose reading aloud to each other your favorite book every night). Some well-known, successful marital books have been The Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work, His Needs Her Needs, and The Art of Intimacy. If you are seeing a counselor or ecclesiastical leader, ask them what books best meet your needs, or do this research together on your own.
Think of the last time you and your spouse were at your best. Think of all the things you were doing at that time of your life and then do it. Maybe you were serving more, or you were more attentive, or you went on more dates. Whatever it is, try to revive those good habits.
Of course, it’s always to easier to keep a fire going than to start one. Don’t be afraid to use these resources before you’re in the dark striking at a rock and praying for sparks. And if you are at that point, keep striking, keep going: the ember will catch and the fire will come.
We all love General Conference. We love the spirituality, the stories, the songs. But we also love a little good clean humor. Here are a few of the funniest memes and tweets that came out of the April 2017 General Conference. For more Conference memes …
I remember the first time I saw the commercial for the Mutual dating app. It was hilarious! I mean, it had Stacey Harkey in it so can you really go wrong? But that was mostly it. I was familiar with Tinder and its reputation and …
Okay, now that we have established my lack of artistic ability, let’s get started!
What is bullet journaling? As far as I can tell, it’s a code word for cute lists, and I’m loving it!
At the beginning of every school year, I spend hours trying to find the right the planner. I want it to be cute and functional, but it also needs to be reasonably priced. However, each time I end up choosing functional. I mean who wants to pay $20 for a planner that will just get thrown away at the end of the year? Let’s be honest, functional is frumpy while cute is costly.
This is one of the reasons I love bullet journaling. I can pick a super cute notebook and customize the inside. I can do a different layout for every week if I wanted to!
A bullet journal doesn’t just have to be a planner. Make it whatever you want! If you have a blank page and a pen, go crazy!
The first thing you need to do is pick a journal and some pens. I found my journal at the BYU Store, and I picked the pens up at my local Target.
Picking the journal was hard because I didn’t know what kind of paper I wanted to write on. In the end, I decided on a journal that had lined pages. Choose whichever works for you: lined or blank. As for the pens, I didn’t want anything that would smudge. Plus, I wanted fun colors. I went with the Paper Mate Marker Pen.
The next step is to write, draw, doodle, you name it! I made a cover page and an index. After I started, I noticed that the pens bled through the pages. I guess that nothing is perfect, right?
I suggest starting with a list of ideas of the things you wanted to write about. Honestly, you can write about anything: a list of movies you want to watch, a gratitude page, a quote wall, a bucket list, or grocery lists. If you need some more ideas, look up “bullet journal lists” on Pinterest. Get creative and start writing. Here are a couple of my lists:
Advice for the Skeptics
Embrace the mistakes you make: Seriously. No one is perfect. Think of the mistakes as making the journal become more a part of you.
So far, bullet journaling has been fun and stress relieving. When I sit down to doodle or plan, I’m focused on the task so I don’t mess it up (the mark of a true perfectionist). But don’t give up! Make your bullet journal your own. And don’t forget to be creative; no one said creativity killed the cat.
I remember the first reactions I got from my Laurel class advisers when I told them I was going to Brigham Young University. “Oh my goodness you are going to go down there and be married within the first year!” Name: Camille Age: 23 Year …