A Brigham Young University Student Journal
Before we were born we all lived with God. Genesis 1:27 says, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he them; male and female created he them.” Thus, men and women were created, spiritually first, as God’s own offspring—spirit …
Parents across the country watch their child scream and cry as a nurse tries to insert a needle into the muscle on the child’s arm. The dramatic response of children to as simple of an injection as a flu shot causes parents to dread the …
There’s an old saying: A jug fills drop by drop (Buddha). In light of the saying: What do these stories have in common?
The common denominator here is CONSISTENCY. Good parenting requires consistent parenting. Children need consistency. It’s important that they know what the rules are and what is expected of them. When children understand what is expected, they know what to do, how to behave and better understand consequences for their actions.
Consistency works in multiple areas of life. Our kids loved to play at all hours of the day. Like most kids, they would beg us to let them skip dinner to continue playing. While this was sometimes tempting, I knew that the lesson they needed to learn of consistency (and eating nutritious meals) was more important than the short reprise it might mean for me if they skipped dinner. As soon as Dad came home, we would make sure the kids would come in and be ready to eat. This allowed us to enjoy quality family time and helped my kids learn important values.
Our kids didn’t always jump at the opportunity for family scripture study, so we made it an expected routine just like dinner. While we would vary our family scripture reading time, we always read with our children. This helped our kids learn the value in consistently putting our Heavenly Father first and also helped our children learn what we, as their parents, valued.
Another way to look at consistency is to think of it in terms of routine. As you build routines into your parenting, you actually reduce the stress of everyday life and help children to feel secure. For example, if you teach your children that they should brush their teeth every night, and you consistently make sure that happens, soon they brush their teeth by themselves without putting up a fuss. They just know it’s part of the daily routine. This eliminates discussion and arguments and hopefully cavities.
As you develop a routine for chores, children can learn that doing chores quickly and efficiently allows them to move on to more pleasurable activities. This, in turn, motivates them to work hard and to organize their time. When you have a routine for fun things (going to the park, visiting the library, etc.), then children learn that they can put off their wants for a period of time because they realize that the fun activity really will happen. They are able to trust that you mean what you say.
Even as teenagers, (maybe especially as teenagers), children feel secure when they know you mean what you say. When my kids were out with friends and we had agreed on a curfew, my kids knew that I would be sitting up waiting for them. They also knew that if they didn’t come in on time, there would be consequences. (Yep, once I made my teenage son put 30 puzzle pieces into the jigsaw puzzle I was working on because he came in late!)
These words of advice make sense and seem easy to follow. Unfortunately, kids like to test you and your resolve at almost every stage of life. When my oldest son was about twelve, I discovered how valuable consistency was, not only for the kids’ security, but also for making parenting easier. My son started giving me a lot of grief about obeying the rules. When I’d remind him it was time to do his chores, he would whine and complain and twist the issues around until we were arguing about all kinds of things—like why didn’t his brother have to do this chore? Why did he always get the hard jobs? or Why did I love his sister more? It got so out of control I finally I went to a counselor for help. The counselor changed my life. He explained I didn’t have to answer all the accusations my son was making. All I had to do was be consistent. So then the dialogue went like this:
Mom: You need to clean your room
Son: What?????????????? I just cleaned it.
Mom: Oh, really? Well, you still need to go clean your room.
Son: Why doesn’t Steph have to clean her room? Her room looks worse than mine!
Mom: Really? I’ll have to look. But you still need to clean your room.
Son: But I want to go outside to play!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: Great idea. As soon as you clean your room you can go outside.
Son: Mommmm!
Mom: I’m sure you can do it. Let me know when you are done.
No matter how many excuses or changes of topic he introduced, I consistently returned to what I expected of him. AND IT WORKED! He eventually gave up and did what he should. All it took was consistency on my part.
Being consistent isn’t always about chores, consequences, or nagging mothers. Being consistent is just as important when it comes to traditions and family fun.
Every family has traditions; and what builds traditions? Consistency.
One of our favorite family traditions is an annual Easter egg hunt. Every year, on the Saturday before Easter we get out the dying gear and color our eggs. Then later in the day, we hold our annual Easter egg hunt. We fill plastic eggs with candy and then hide both the plastic and the boiled eggs all around the yard. This is such a tradition, that we even took eggs with us (plastic ones!) when our family was on an outing over Easter. We hid the eggs at the cabin where we stayed!
It is not just holiday traditions that are important. Birthday traditions, family outings, or extended family get-togethers can also add consistency to the family. One of our favorite habits as a family was the Sunday evening game night. We spent many happy hours playing board games, card games, and in the summer—croquet! These consistent moments built memories that glue our family together even today.
So if you feel like parenting is the hardest thing you’ve ever done, pause and ask yourself if maybe a little consistency wouldn’t help to smooth things out and make parenting easier.
Written by Phyllis Rosen
A recent study quantified the economic impact of religious institutions and religion-related businesses throughout the U.S. The study, entitled “The Socio-economic Contribution of Religion to American Society: An Empirical Analysis,” is the first of its kind and was conducted by Brian Grim of Georgetown University and …
Thanksgiving is coming up and FOOD is the word. When thinking about Thanksgiving, many of us number turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and pie among the many things that we are grateful for. Many of the memories that I personally have surrounding this time of year …
After coming from a city where righteous, kind, ambitious, loving young men were few and far between, I can understand the appeal of dating in Provo, where that is not the case. There are so many practically perfect men that cross your path every day, and if you happen to snag one, how can you know that he could be your eternal companion?
When I had been dating my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 6 months, I knew I loved him, but I just wasn’t sure if he was the one for me. Some people say they “just know,” but for a logical thinker like me, that kind of thinking just didn’t work out.
Luckily, my brother sent me this document of questions for couples anticipating marriage to ask each other. I cut these questions into strips, folded them up, and put them in a bag. Every once-in-a-while, we would pull out the bag and take turns picking random questions and answering them. Not only was it informative, but it was also both spiritual and fun. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee, but these questions can give you a deeper insight into the heart of your loved one.
My fiancé and I highly recommended these questions to anyone who is considering getting married, as most of these questions do not usually come up in normal conversation.
These questions (and my fiancé’s answers to them) were pivotal in my decision to marry my best friend. Maybe you already know that he’s the one, and maybe you don’t, but regardless, give these questions a shot—you might be surprised by your results.
Written by Cari Taylor
Near our house is a fairly steep hill. There are lots of big trees beside the hill, but no houses, so no one is in charge of the sidewalk. During the year leaves, dirt, and junk collect in the gutter. It never really washes away …
Every year we arrive at Thanksgiving amid a hustle and bustle of cooking and preparing. More often than not we sit down for dinner and pause a moment or two to go around the table, allowing each person to name something they are thankful for. …
“Oh, here we go again, a reminder of how imperfect I am.” Usually when we think of self-improvement, we tend to start underestimating ourselves, our potential, and our purpose. We focus on our weaknesses and our mistakes, making it difficult to remember our strengths and successes.
Have you ever received “constructive criticism” but, in reality, the words actually take jabs at your heart? Have you ever set goals and held high hopes, only to realize that carrying them out was close to impossible? (especially with the way you had planned)
Like many of us, you’ve probably felt down on yourself. You’ve probably failed a few times and have felt like you were drowning in depths of despair. The last thing you want to think about is how you can be better.
You’ve already made a list of what you consider weaknesses and what you can improve: serving others, friends, smiling, prioritizing, organizing, cleaning, showing your love, getting good grades, finding/keeping a job, stop crying so often, eat less/more, exercise, and so forth.
At this point you’re having trouble trying to remember that you’re worth something.
This isn’t how self-improvement should be. There is an optimistic side of self-improvement that 
many people don’t mention, or even recognize but in reality is the most important for actual progress.
For me, especially when I’m being hard on myself, I like to remember three steps that help improve my mental health and attitude. Improving attitude is the best thing we can do to strengthen ourselves in times of need and to prepare for difficult times in the future. We can recognize that we are not perfect now, but we can also be confident in our ability and purpose as we strive to become better.
1) Strive to overcome your weaknesses. Now, this doesn’t mean you ignore your weaknesses, nor does it mean you will be “weakness-free” anytime soon. It does, however, mean that you recognize your weaknesses and have a desire to change. With patience and grace, along with the desire to learn, you come to recognize that what you once believed were your weaknesses, have now become strengths when used correctly. For example, although speaking loudly is a trait you may feel ashamed of in some situations, in others it works greatly, so you discern in which circumstances you can make it a strength.
2) Use your strengths. The best way to improve is to remember your strengths, and to put them in action. We all have things we are good at, whether it be as small as making your bed every day or as big as recently getting a new job. Recognize your strengths and cater to those. Strive to set goals within your abilities, this will help you accomplish more and gain confidence in your abilities.
3) Fear not. Don’t get down on yourself for the fact that you need to improve in some areas. It is a common sphere that we are all working within. Remember that through it all, you are still amazing and there are good things to come. Remember that you CAN do it all, all that is required of you and all that brings you joy.
“Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so.”
Believe in yourself. Believe in your capability. Believe in your ability to become. You are strong, beautiful and full of potential. Embrace it. Overcome the despair of failure and find the joy in imperfection. Find the joy in progression. Focus on self improvement.
Written by Rebekah Day
My husband and I have six children. Six!!! Who can believe it? This fact puts Dave (my husband) and I into the “experienced parents” category–especially since the youngest is now 23 years old. Parenting is not easy. Should I say that again?? Parenting is not easy. …