A Brigham Young University Student Journal
When I was a sophomore in high school, I found out about a school trip to France that would take place about 18 months later. As a French 1 student and a less-than-frequent traveler, I was eager to go on the trip. Staying with a host …
I know we often think about Christmas as the season of giving, but as Easter approaches, I’ve been feeling a greater need to follow the example of the One who gave His life for our happiness and well-being by giving back in whatever ways I …
As I believe I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I am a new and very avid consumer of self-help books. I love having those “aha moments,” and when you read (or listen to) a self-help book, you get them all of the time.
But I think there’s an unspoken stigma about this type of literature—that it’s only for middle-aged women and prospective businessmen. At least, that’s how I saw it. Reminding myself that I actually used to think self-help books sounded about as dry and lifeless as the DMV, I’m realizing I can’t remember what caused me to actually start reading one. But I did. And you know what I found? You don’t have to wait until you feel bogged down by flaws and negative life experience to seek improvement. We all started as infants, unable to talk or walk—life is an uphill climb from the beginning!
I’m taking a while to get to the book review, aren’t I?
My point is, I have the humble opinion that self-help books are for everyone. And I want to start you off with a good one. So without further ado, let me tell you about The Big Leap.
Gay Hendricks, the author, (who, by the way, has appeared on Oprah), discovers a problem with us as human beings: the Upper Limit Problem. He claims that we subconsciously seem to limit our success and happiness, and he finds ways to counteract this limitation.
The book is filled with ways to actively participate in the self-improvement process. He asks you to ask yourself, “What do I most love to do? (I love it so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored.)” He gives you a personal mantra: “I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.” He tells you the truth, ” . . . if I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them.”
Now, with books, I am not a re-reader. I feel like there is so much out there to read, it would be silly to revisit what you’ve already finished and closed. But the minute I finished this book, I started it right back from the beginning again. There is so much wisdom here—so many keys to a happy and successful life. On top of that, I just felt feelings of positivity and hope throughout my journey into the book.
So, if I’ve convinced you, and you’re ready to give self-help books a try, try this one!
—Sophie Parry
Kids can surprise us every day. After teaching in an elementary school classroom for almost a month, I learned unexpected things about the students and their dreams for the future. We had just learned in social studies about the dreams of African Americans in moving …
I’ve been thinking a lot about the epidemic in our society of pornography addiction. I have seen its effects on the relationships of people that I love that struggle with it and it’s devastating to witness. Whether in a dating or a marriage relationship, the …
Early on last Fall semester, my roommate asked me a question: “Does your family save cottage cheese containers?”
“Uh, what do you mean?” I asked.
“You know, did your mom ever save cottage cheese or sour cream containers to use as Tupperware?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. My mom never saved containers. She just always bought Tupperware. I thought it was really weird the first time I saw one of my old roommates save one.”
Hmmm
You might be thinking that this is an absolutely pointless experience. It’s possible that you are right. However, while discussing potential food containers is pretty uninteresting, this story does illustrate a point about the role families play in society: our families shape our behavior.
Think of any differences you’ve experienced with roommates or friends: You choose the cheapest meal at a restaurant; your roomie chooses the most expensive plus dessert. Your other roommate leaves on all the lights in your apartment all the time, no matter how long he or she is away from the apartment; you compulsively flip lights off, whether there is someone in the room or not. Your friend hugs everyone he or she comes in contact with, while you won’t sit in a chair if a human being is sitting in the chair next to it.
Admittedly, some of these behaviors are unique to the individual. But many of them stem from the culture of a person’s family. The religious beliefs, financial choices, health practices, political associations, and social behaviors of parents and siblings largely affect us, even if we don’t realize it. It took me three years of living away from home to realize that I could get dessert if I wanted to (my family is morally against getting dessert at restaurants).
Our families help shape our behavior. Part of that behavior might be saving cottage cheese containers to store food. Some of it might not (ask my roommate).
—Jessica Neilson, Stance
As technology in education has gone from chalkboard to whiteboard to smartboard, children still typically learn best through examples and practice, not just lectures. Lucky for us in today’s technology age, many resources are available to help children, parents, and teachers with academics. Resources for …
International Women’s Day has been around since the early 1900’s, but it’s only been called to my attention in the past few weeks. Maybe I’ve just been living under a rock, or maybe the feminist outcry has been taken a little more seriously this year. …
As I began my book group in the 5th grade class I’m teaching in this semester, I could tell that two girls were frustrated with one another. Here’s what ensued: dirty looks, obviously offended gestures, teasing, and complaints that the other was kicking her under the table.
Questions came to my mind—should I give them a punishment for their behavior? Would that motivate them to cut it out, cheer up, and make up with each other? On the other hand, they did begin to read—however reluctantly. Should I praise them for at least being on task? At least then they might feel reinforced.
Punishments and praise. These two opportunities constantly arise with children, and sometimes it’s difficult to tell which will elicit the desired behavior.
My last post with tips from behavior specialist Steve Andersen discussed how to understand what’s behind behavior. To get you started how to address behavior with reinforcement or punishment, watch this cute video with preschoolers:
Great examples of how to motivate behavior, right? Read on to understand more on how you may or may not be reinforcing a child’s behavior.
Reinforcements
Reinforcement is sometimes misconstrued as a synonym to praise. However, reinforcement is just a consequence that maintains or increases the likelihood that a behavior will occur again—whether positive or negative.
For example, we may think that giving praise to a child who is behaving well may inspire him or her to continue the good behavior and help nearby children comply as well. However, a child who is shy may despise that praise and feel embarrassed in front of peers, so praise will not reinforce the behavior but rather decrease the chance of the child doing it again.
Punishments
The same is true about punishments—we may think that we are giving a consequence that decreases the likelihood that a behavior will occur, such as sending a child into time out or making a student stay in from recess.
But if the child actually doesn’t mind going to time out (“this is just play time in my room”) or staying in from recess (“at least the bullies will leave me alone”), then it’s not a punishment. It’s actually a reinforcer. B.F. Skinner, the behavior theorist, described more on these ideas.
Consider the Outcome
The nuts and bolts of this whole idea are to figure out what will increase or decrease the desired behavior. If a punishment is repeatedly not working (e.g., grounding a child isn’t solving the homework slothfulness), then consider whether that punishment is actually working as a reinforcer. On the other hand, if an intended word of praise or a prize is not increasing good behavior, consider whether a different reinforcer should replace it.
—Leah Davis Christopher, Stance
I love technology, but like many good things, it can be abused and overused. More applicable to me, it can be very, very time-wasting. Yet I keep reaching for my phone and turning on the T.V. any moment I can. It’s a habit that I …