Stance: Studies on the Family

Brigham Young University Student Journal

Author: Stance Studies on the Family (page 32 of 35)

Internet-use Disorder: Compulsive Addiction or Society’s New Direction?

by Mandy Teerlink

Image courtesy of Gamesingear.

The inside of a gaming trailer, a vehicle where gamers can pay to go game together.

Psychologists are now categorizing addictions to internet gaming and gambling as a psychological disorder. They are focusing most of their research on the rising generation, as they are more prone to this kind of disorder which can be detrimental to health. However, the disorder still requires much more research before psychologists will be able to fully understand the phenomenon or treat it.


Some symptoms that have been established so far are:

  • Obsession with internet gaming
  • Withdrawal symptoms when not using the internet
  • Necessity of using the internet more and more to achieve the same high
  • Lack of interests/hobbies
  • Internet replaces human relationships
  • Internet becomes a tool to escape sadness/depression
  • Failed attempts to quit using the internet as often

(List courtesy of


The effects of internet-use disorder still require heavy research, but some studies have revealed that the effects can be similar to drug addiction.


Meanwhile, the necessity of declaring internet addiction an actual disorder has come under fire. The web is a relatively new addition to our society, and we are still learning how to apply its many uses. Internet usage that may seem excessive to adults is commonplace for many children. With the increasing advances in technology, it may be that internet junkies are the way of the future.

Infertility: Do You Have a Story?

by Alissa Strong


Today by chance, I came across a blog. The author is a girl totally unknown to me, although we attend the same university. Her story piqued my interest specifically because it involves a topic that is almost the elephant-in-the-room in not just our university but in society.


This girl is twentysomething years old and suffers from infertility.


This topic has been on my mind lately, as over the past five months I have encountered a number of people who have experienced infertility in one form or another. It has been eye-opening to meet these people and hear their stories, because so often in the dating-, marriage-, and family-centric bubble of Utah Valley, surrounded by singles and couples in their late teens and early twenties, one rarely stops to consider these questions:


What would happen if I could not have children?

Would this impact my dating relationships?

What would my identity be if I couldn’t be a mother or a father?

Even if I can have children, what do I do or say around those who can’t?


Stance for the Family is a journal, magazine, and blog for all families—regardless of their makeup. Because of this, I want to hear from and write to this group of families and singles who may previously have felt a family-themed journal has no relevance to them.


If you or someone close to you has dealt with or is currently dealing with infertility, we want to hear from you. Single, married, religious, agnostic—we want to hear your stories. If you have a story to tell, please email Alissa at We will not publish anything without first requesting your consent. But this is an issue that so many unknown faces of our community need to hear about—whether it affects them personally, or whether they simply need help knowing how to support someone else going through this trial. Your story, no matter how small, may be just what someone else needs to give them hope.


Adaptive Aquatics: A Fun Way to Serve

by Jaden Anderson 

Looking for a new and unique way to serve right here on the BYU campus? How does splashing around in the pool and singing Disney music with goggle-eyed kids sound? Well, that’s what you’ll find every Thursday and Friday morning from 11am to 11:45am at the Richards Building pool. Here, student volunteers can come spend some quality time with local special education children in an interactive program called Adaptive Aquatics.

Adaptive Aquatics is a chance for disabled children in nearby schools to swim and receive some much-needed one-on-one time with volunteer BYU students each week. Students can help children develop their cognitive, motor, and social skills. There are also gym activities available for those kids who cannot swim or would rather not. The children come from Alpine, Orem, and other elementary schools throughout Utah County. They each have disabilities ranging from learning and speech impediments to Cerebral Palsy and Down syndrome.

Many BYU students have become involved with the program through Y Serve and report that they love the time they’re able to spend with the kids. According to the directors of the program, an average of 80 students with disabilities and 70 BYU students come to swim each Thursday and Friday. The directors estimate that around 300 or 400 volunteers come throughout the semester.

If this sounds like something you’d love to participate in for just one hour every Thursday or Friday for a semester, email with your name and student ID for an Honor Code check. To get a glimpse of what Adaptive Aquatics is like, check out the video below or visit


Cornbelly’s Corn Maze and Pumpkin Fest—A Traditional Fall Activity for Everyone!

by Danielle Cronquist

Enjoy classic fall activities and head up to Thanksgiving Point’s Cornbelly’s Corn Maze and Pumpkin Fest, open from October 5th to November 3rd. A perfect outing for families, couples, or even a group of friends. You can get lost in the corn maze, let the little ones navigate their way through the kiddie maze, or for thrill seekers, venture into the haunted maze (age 12+). But you don’t have to spend your whole time wandering through mazes; there are tons of other fall activities to enjoy when there. . .

-pick out the perfect pumpkin for carving

-hang out around one of the campfires

-take a ride on the cow train

-leap around on the “jumping pillow”

-watch some pig races

-slide down “Cornbelly Mountain”

-and so many more!

Here are a few tips and tricks for having the best time possible when there:

1. Buy your tickets ahead of time or go on a weekday to save some money!

2. Check out the “activity age gauge” on the website beforehand to find out which activities would be best for you and your group.

3. Bring your camera for some fun picture opportunities with face-cutouts, in the pumpkin patches, and in the mazes.

4. Wear closed-toed shoes and bring a jacket. The walkways there are not paved, and we are moving into some chillier weather this month, so you want to be comfortable.

5. Some of the activities like the zip-line and rock climbing wall will cost you a little, so bring some extra cash if you want to try these out.

6. Bring snacks if you don’t want to shell out the extra money for food once you are there. Maybe even bring some s’mores supplies for the campfires!

7. The haunted festivities begin at 8 p.m. so if you think you or your kids will get a little freaked out, plan accordingly.


Taking a visit to Cornbelly’s is a perfect way to ring in the fall! Open from October 5th to November 3rd. Monday–Thursday 4–10 p.m.; Friday–Saturday 10 a.m.–11 p.m.; closed Sundays and Halloween.

“30 Strangers” Project Exhibiting at BYU’s Harold B. Lee Library

Justin Hackworth‘s photographic exhibit “30 Strangers: Portraits of Mothers and Daughters” is currently showing at BYU’s Harold B. Lee Library.

The exhibit features photos of thirty mother/daughter pairs, capturing their histories and their stories. The story behind the project is beautifully captured in Kale Fitch’s video below:

The 30 Strangers Project | Justin Hackworth from Kale Fitch on Vimeo.

This Thursday night, October 4, is the special Artist’s Reception. Visitors will have the chance to meet the artist and view the exhibit, as well as listen to entertainment by Cherie Call and short essays about motherhood read by four featured writers (Amy Hackworth, Lisa Clark, CJane Kendrick, and Kacy Faulconer).

This is a great chance to experience wonderful photography and entertainment in celebration of mothers and daughters!

What: “30 Strangers” exhibit—Artist’s Reception
When: Thursday, October 4, 2012, 6–9pm (readings and music at 7:00)
Where: BYU Lee Library, Auditorium Gallery, 1st Floor

Justin Hackworth’s “30 Strangers” exhibit is showing in BYU’s Harold B. Lee Library, Auditorium Gallery, 1st Floor, September 6–October 28, 2012. The exhibit is raising money for the Center for Women and Children in Crisis.

Five Ways To Eat Healthier in College

by Amanda Ricks

Eating healthy while in college can be a daunting task. Fast food restaurants, particularly ones with a dollar menu, are cheap and easily accessible, and this convenience can sometimes outweigh the negative consequences of eating foods that have been fried, saturated, or greased.

The following are some tips for cleaning up your diet:

  1. Stock your refrigerator with fresh fruits and vegetables. When it comes to a late night craving, you won’t feel guilty if you’ve snacked on carrots or grapes rather than a doughnut or chocolate cake.
  2. Plan time for your meals. If you plan time, you are more likely to eat a balanced and nutritious meal.
  3. Don’t always fall for the “free candy” gimmicks thrown at you by different clubs. Generally, the piece of taffy isn’t worth the time or signing a piece of paper. If the treat is your sole incentive for going to meetings, perhaps you could better spend your time making yourself a healthier meal that can fill you with nutrients.
  4. Make a shopping list. If you buy food and have meals planned, it will mostly end with pleasing results for your body and your pocketbook.
  5. Take healthy snacks to campus with you. If you have some almonds or dried fruit with you, you are less likely to buy a high-fat, high-sugar candy bar because you’re hungry in between classes. Additionally, carry water around with you on campus. Staying hydrated is key to being healthy.

Eating healthy in college can be affordable if the necessary time is put in. Who knows? Maybe next time you are thinking about making cookies for that cute boy in your ward, you can take him a plate of carrots instead.

What I Stand For: An Editorial Response Inspired by Former President Clinton

by Alissa Strong

On Tuesday morning, Former President Bill Clinton appeared on CBS and issued a no-holds-barred statement to Muslim activists. Clinton condemned the tendency to resort to violence when the Islamic faith is disrespected and claimed that the modern world is too diverse, too grounded in the principles of free speech, and too connected socially on the Internet for groups to avoid being offended at one time or another.

He added, “You can’t react every time you’re insulted. . . . You cannot live in a shame-based world. You won’t make it in the twenty-first century.”

I do not claim to subscribe to all the beliefs held by Former President Clinton. I do not agree with all of his political ideas, and I do not endorse all of the actions he has taken. However, I do recognize true and good words when I hear them, and I will proudly announce my agreement with such a statement, no matter from whose lips the words came.

I believe that Former President Clinton’s words are true, not only for Muslims but for all people. We live in a world where, for the first time, Internet communication allows us to know what other people from all cultures all across the world are saying and thinking about us.

It is no longer a matter of if we will encounter disagreement and ridicule, but when. 

Learning to allow others the freedom of speech and action that we desire for ourselves is part of growing up. Not that taking offense is always childish—quite the contrary. When others demean us or our innermost values and beliefs, they can cut deep into our hearts. It is our natural reaction to protect what is dearest to us. But as we grow, we must learn to protect those things appropriately.

I believe that there is a difference between protecting your beliefs and reacting violently. I come from a religion that teaches us from our youth to “stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.” Standing for what you believe in is an appropriate way of protecting what you value. It includes firmly but politely (also legally) doing what you can to uphold your beliefs in a situation where you can make a difference. Reacting violently, on the other hand, is an emotional and physical response that infringes on the rights of others and does not always have an effect except to harm those whom you have targeted. Such behavior is immature and unacceptable.

I believe that violent reactions are also ineffective. In 2002, approximately seventy Afghan refugees illegally seeking asylum in Australia sewed their lips and the lips of their children together to protest against the Australian government. The government did not react to their request and continued with their typical immigration processes.


Because if the government had granted the refugees what they wanted, future refugees would learn that self-harm to one’s self or children was likely to induce a wanted action. Behavioral psychology’s operant conditioning theory (introduced by B. F. Skinner) teaches that if a behavior is rewarded, we condition ourselves to continue that behavior in the hopes of gaining another reward. If a behavior is punished, presumably we will avoid that behavior in future to avoid future punishment. Thus, reacting to an offense with violence will likely make little to no difference to a cause because governments—or those we offend—are unlikely to acquiesce to such demands and encourage the likelihood of more violent protests in the future.

The world is changing, and not always for the better. But I believe that we can change for the better.

I believe there is strength and honor in turning the other cheek—in doing what we can to live and protect our beliefs, but also granting others the respect and courtesy to do the same.

I believe there is no honor in resorting to violence to protest when we are offended—be it physical violence or even simply bullying another via the Internet.

I believe that we have the responsibility and obligation either to solve disagreements like civilized adults—communicating clearly and rationally—or to look the other way and focus on the good that is in the world. To do any differently would defeat the purpose of standing for a greater good.

Your Filing System: Making It Personal

by Caitlin Schwanger

Your filing system. It may be a big set of file drawers. It may be a small accordion-style folder. It may not even exist at all. Regardless of what it looks like, how big it is, or how organized it is (*cough cough*), we all know what goes in the files. Birth certificates, social security cards, marriage certificates, insurance policies, and so on.

It all seems so boring and impersonal, but our record-keeping systems are essential. What would happen if you didn’t have those important documents? It is never too early to start working on your record-keeping system.

Create a system that works for you. My husband and I keep our important papers together in an accordion folder. That’s all we need for now (although I’m excited for the day we’ll have an important-looking set of file drawers and color-coded folders). Categorize your documents in a way that’s logical to you, and keep it all in a safe place.

Don’t know what to save? Here is a list of important documents to help you get started:

  • Tax returns for the past seven years
  • Warranties for cars, appliances, tools, etc.
  • Wage or salary pay records for seven years
  • Insurance policies
  • Bank records for the past seven years
  • Medical receipts for seven years
  • Credit card statements for seven years
  • Deeds and titles
  • Stock and bond certificates
  • Debts you owe or are owed (adapted from Israelsen 2011, 51)

Some of us, including me, have some areas to improve in! For example, when you get your bank statement electronically, do you print it out? Start doing that, because they can get harder to access (sometimes even costing you money) as time goes on. Do you keep all your pay stubs? Hold on to those! Why seven years, you ask? That’s in case you ever get audited for taxes.

But this whole record-keeping thing still seems rather boring, cold, and impersonal, right? Think of this as your family’s record-keeping system. There’s more to records than financial statements and birth certificates. What about photos? journals? important letters? Saving personal records is just as essential and important.

Now, I’m not going to lecture on how we’re all supposed to be keeping a journal—I’ll let our consciences do that. I just want to emphasize how important it is to save these other important documents as well.  You will be able to remember exciting family vacations with your photo albums, show your children pictures of great-grandparents they have never met, and share stories from your childhood with your children from your old, chicken-scratchy journals. These things will be important to your children! So do your best to save your records.

Here are some ideas of personal records you might want to start saving:

  • Personal journals
  • Treasured letters (or emails)
  • Certificates of achievement
  • Photo albums
  • Selected examples of children’s artwork or schoolwork
  • Home videos (adapted from Israelsen 2011, 51–52)

(On a side note, having all of your photos saved onto your computer is not good enough. One day, your computer will crash. Don’t lose your photos in that disaster. Save them to a disk, print them out—do something to keep them safe and saved forever.)

So, while you’re setting up your family’s filing system, don’t think of it as just a filing system, but as a record-keeping system. Make it personal!


The lists of items to save came from my workbook for SFL 260: Family Finance. Israelsen, Craig L. 2011. Personal and Family Finance Workbook. 6th ed. Provo, UT: BYU Academic Publishing.

The Stadium Farmers Market—Something for Everyone!

by Alissa Holm

The start of school brings not only students back to the BYU campus, but also many vendors to the annual Farmers Market at LaVell Edwards Stadium.

Every Thursday until October 25, about 25 vendors will fill the south parking lot of the stadium to sell their best fresh fruits and vegetables, crafts, and other local creations. This week, I attended the market and got a taste of the great products our local vendors have to offer.

Walking up and down the row of vendors, I couldn’t help but be impressed by the variety of local goods produced by our fellow Provo citizens. I saw everything from freshly popped kettle corn, to a tabletop football game, to homemade pies, to fresh fruit grown literally just down the road.

A Talk with a Vendor

I took some time during my first visit to speak with Sara Potter, baker and owner of “My Cutie Pies,” a small business that sells personal-sized pies. Sara has mastered the art of pie baking over the last seven years and turned her talent into a small business just over a year ago. She bakes personal-sized pies in flavors such as blueberry banana cream, apple, pumpkin, and raspberry and sells them for $3.50 each week at various farmers markets. Prior to each selling day, she spends a grueling twelve hours baking her pies. Sara says that baking the pies allows her to do what she loves and also to make a little extra money on the side.

Is It for Me?

Curious to see what it takes to become a vendor like Sara, I asked her what it was like to start her own small business. She says her expenses can get pretty high—for pie making, berries are her most expensive ingredients. There are also several startup taxes and fees associated with starting such businesses. But Sara did mention that this type of business might be good for other young married wives and mothers out there—Sara is a former student, but her husband is still in school. If your product is marketable and profitable, you could find yourself bringing in a good amount of money just from selling weekly at the Stadium Farmers Market.

I would highly recommend the Stadium Farmers Market to anyone. The experience is one you won’t regret, and you’ll be surprised with all that it has to offer. Who knows—you might just end up wanting to create your own station!

For More Information:

  • Additional information about becoming a vendor at the Farmers Market can be found here.
  • The vendor application form can be accessed here.
  • Several delicious recipes from the BYU Dining Services demo booth at the Market are listed here. Happy cooking, families!

Photo courtesy of Sara Potter,

A trip down memory lane to the Utah State Fair

by Mandy Teerlink

The whirlwind scent of the fair tickled my six-year-old nose. We walked into a big white tent, and I saw them. The ostriches. They were huge. Their long pink necks stretched high above my head, and their fluffy bodies seemed so soft to the touch. I had never seen an ostrich before. Maybe once at the zoo, from fifty yards away, but never THIS close. I gaped at the gigantic birds, not really comprehending the magnitude of the moment until it was over.

Flash forward about sixteen years to the present day. I’m wandering around with some college friends, and this time we’re at the Utah State Fair in Salt Lake City. But it doesn’t feel the same. All I see is a bunch of farm animals falling asleep on the hay. Then I look more closely at a group of children huddled around a newborn calf. I remember the wonder I felt whenever I got to pet a new animal as a little girl. There was something about touching and smelling and experiencing a new environment that made it all so special.

Children need learning experiences like this in their lives. The State Fair is such an intriguing blend of rides, exhibits, and food. It can provide a great opportunity for children to learn about the world and experience new things.

Some great things to see at the fair are
• Farm animals
• Rides
• Craft exhibits
• Photography exhibits
• Science exhibits
• Booths selling all kinds of wares
• Concerts

Obviously there’s plenty to keep everyone happy. However, you need to be a little savvy in order to see everything worth seeing.

So here are some tips to make your fair experience easier:

1. Go earlier during the day, on a weekday. It’s less busy, and some of the exhibits close early.
2. Look up concerts ahead of time so you know who’s performing when. You might even get to see some bigger names.
3. Bring extra cash for food and tickets so you don’t have to pay a fee or stand in line at the fair ATMs.
4. Bring water with you, I guarantee all the walking will make you thirsty!
5. Bring hand sanitizer. Lots of dirty animals and rides!

Although the Utah State Fair finished up this last weekend, most counties in Utah hold their own fairs. Here’s a list of different fairs for the rest of the year.

Remember, the most important part of going to a fair is having fun and sharing memories!

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